What Happens in Cabo….?

I had a trip this past weekend down to Cabo San Lucas Mexico. Only three days, but enough for a quick getaway for Jen and I.

I got a free ride on Cessna CJ1 jet, but Jen had to do it the old fashion way and airline down there. It worked out nicely though because my personal jet ride left from San Diego International at 11:00 am and Jen was able to a direct flight on Alaskan that left from SAN at 10:10 am. Perfect!

So we headed down to the airport; I dropped Jen off at the terminal where all the “normal” people go and then cruised over to the special people terminal for my private executive jet flight. Well, her commercial sardine can left right on time, wheels up about 10:30. Yeah, my passengers were good and late and Jen had to wait for abou 2 hours in the terminal at Cabo. Fortunately, she was packing the heat and managed to beat down two would be kidnappers.

Finally we get to our swanky hotel and don’t you know it, our room is still being cleaned and we are guaranteed by our Mexican bellhop that the room will be done in “fifteeeeen minutos amigo.” One hour later, we are in our room. I am pretty sure that Mexicans have little or no concept of time. They did offer us free margaritas while we waited…sure why not? Hold on, this tastes like watered down lemonade. But who’s complaining? Oh wait, we are!

I did have a co-pilot on this trip and he wanted to see downtown Cabo – on a Friday night. We obliged. Long story short: I seriously scared a waitress who tried to feed me (yes actually put into my mouth) a jello shot. She ran away. But hey, first she intruded onto my personal space; second, she wanted to give me something that I had NO CLUE as to what was in it or where it had been or for how long! Just seems like a good idea to avoid that all together. She walked up and kinda nodded at me. I kinda shook my head back – a clear definitive nod stating “get away from me.” She proceeded closer to my face, I turned my head and kindly said “no thank you.” She then pressed the situation (and my nerves) and made an attempt to force feed me the jello shot. I did not break her arm, but I really wanted to. I simply took her arm and moved it out of my personal space. That is when she left.

Kenny does not really do Friday night in Cabo. Heck, the slogan of Cabo is, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. What happens in Cabo, never really happened.” Not to mention that the night life does not get started until midnight (and after everyone has had too much to drink). And where were all the pretty people? I definitely saw my share of unattractive people, old people, drunk people, and lets call a rose a rose, sluts! Ah yeah, no.

Saturday turned out better.

Again, a long story short (this one ends with Jen’s personal space being violated!) We went to a time share presentation to suffer for 90 minutes in order to get a free breakfast and a free snorkel tour. After 120 minutes (again proving my point that Mexicans have no concept of time), Jen told the salesperson (and not for the first time) that we were there for the free stuff and that he had better give it to us. He begged off and brought in “the closer.” Yes, we all know this routine, the little newbie sales guy can’t get ‘er done, so they bring the big guns. At this point, Jen tells him, kindly, that this kind of vacation is not for us and we would like our coupons so we can leave. Out of nowhere, “the closer” explodes at Jen and yells (yes, he actually raised his voice and leaned forward in an agressive manner),
“You came here of your own free will!”
What, are we in Theology 101?
Jen, not to let this go in any way, shape or form, leans right back at him and says (maybe not so kindly this time),
“Hey, we did our 90 minutes, we would like our certificates now so we can leave.”
“What? Did you just come for the free incentives?”
“Yes, now get them for us.”
He left. And in came “the closer numero dos.”
She signed us off as unlikely candidates for the program and gave us our certificates. A hard fought battle, but well worth it.

With our bellies full from the free breakfast, we cruised down to the docks and headed out on our snorkel tour. It was great. There was only one other family of six on the tour (on a boat that seated over 100 people). I got to drive the 120′ catamaran boat. We got to snorkel (where I was attacked by a school of angry fish). We got to cruise around Los Archos and get cool pictures. Did I mention we got free lunch and all you can drink open bar? Dang, I really need to become an alcoholic. All in all, a fun day,

That evening, Jen and I got to release baby sea turtles. We left our camera in the room, so the pictures are in my co-pilot’s camera.

Then dinner! Ah dinner. The hotel had an all you can eat lobster buffet…for only $32 a person. I ate 8 lobsters, 4 shrimp kabobs, and alot of dessert. Jen did not quite keep up with me, but definitely got her money’s worth.

Sunday, we had lunch in San Jose del Cabo. A much nicer city, its where all the old stuffy people go. I fit in perfect.

Then Jen had to catch her vomit comet home. Again, we had the perfect plan. I was to leave at 3:00 pm, Jen had a departure at 2:10 pm. Let’s just say, I was six hours late. Fortunately, Eric and Sheree drove down to San Diego Intl. to pick her up while I waited for my super late passengers. She was at home before I even left.

So that’s it folks. Thanks for hanging in there to the end. Now you may proceed to the picture blog. Lots of pictures, few words.