kenny

  • kenny

    Where did we go wrong?

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    Overheard while waiting in SWA terminal. Pre-teen daughter wants a Starbucks. Mother: “Here you go (hands over credit card) and get me a Tazo tea mocha with soy milk and a shot of vanilla” Pre-teen: “… blink – blink …” Daughter stares at mother as though a foreign language was used, eyes slowly glassing over. Mother” “Here, I’ll text it to you, now get going.” Where did we go wrong?

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  • kenny

    Moral responsibility

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    We were driving back from a delicious dinner from Emma’s (like I really need to state that the dinner was indeed delicious; does Emma’s serve anything other?). We were in Jim and Jolene’s suburban on Mission Gorge when our homeward progress was thwarted by a red traffic light. Arg. As we patiently waited (some of us more patient than others), a beat-up, mid 90’s white four-door Nissan Sentra pulled up next to us. Now… maybe I am slightly more attune to atrocities such as is to be described below now that I am personally responsible for a little life of my own (who I might add is the cutest/smartest/most talented…

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  • kenny

    I’m in a hurry…

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    I am checking out of the hotel on the way back to the plane. I had just eaten lunch and wanted to brush my teeth, but my toothbrush was already packed away. Fortunately, the fine Hilton establishment at which I was staying had provided several bathroom amenities: shampoo, conditioner, soap and mouthwash. Perfect! I grab the light blue bottle, flip the top open and down the hatch. Funny thing, it actually crossed my mind (in the half second delay between the bath gel departing the bottle and arriving at my tongue) that something was off; did they add a protective seal to the mouthwash bottles? I had often thought that…

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  • kenny,  travel

    Only in the South can you…

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    …Ask fir directions to your national chain hotel (a Hilton property) and get, “Go ’til the Arco is on yer left n’ turn right. Ge straight til ya cross the riv’r. Turn right at the dead possum inda road n’ keep en drivin’ til ya see me waving ya’ll down.” …Write a fantastic blog post like this at the WIFI LOUNGE. …Go to the Olive Garden where the non-smoking wait is 5 minutes and the smoking wait is 20 minutes. …Drive down the road and see Nevitt Forest Community School of Innovation. …Have Will Smith serve you a large Diet Coke from Hardee’s drive-thru window (I swear it was him).…

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  • kenny

    I hate…

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    …a great many things. In this case, Delta Airlines. Since they charge for checked bags, everyone and all their known relatives drag all of their earthly possessions with them onto the plane as “carry-ons”. And seriously, not a single of one them check the dimensional limits of said bags. I had a person hauling a bag that rivaled the size of the Titanic. I actually heard the aircraft strain as she tried to heft the behemoth up into the overhead bin, which, I might add, was about 18 cubic feet smaller than this lady’s ginormous pink “carry-on”. She then turned to me for help with a look that said, “why…

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